Reading time: 1 min 26 sec
Implementation time: 1 min
Imagine a friend comes up to you with a heavy heart and says, “You know what, I really messed up today. I was in a hurry to leave for work, and my daughter kept tugging at my clothes. She had a paper in her hand which she wanted me to see. I kept telling her I’d see it later and, I needed to leave, but she just wouldn’t listen. And then in a flash, I lost it. I took the paper from her hand, flung it across the room, and roared at her – ‘ENOUGH! Now go and sit there! I’m leaving. BYE!’ Now, I feel like SH!T”
What would you tell your friend? I’m sure the first few words you’d say would be something like, “It’s OK. Don’t worry about it now. You can make up for it.”
That is, despite knowing that your friend did quite a horrible thing, you’d still be kind to her. You’d help her feel good. Because you know she’s good inside and whatever happened was just a mistake. Right?
Now, would you do the same for yourself??
Got 1 minute?
- Think of a time you messed up?
- How did you feel about it back then? How do you still feel about it?
- If that incident still makes you feel sh!tty, I want you to tug your heart and ACTIVATE KINDNESS. You’re so good at being kind to others, it’s time to learn to be kind to yourself.
- Imagine what you’d say to your friend who did what you did. Say the same things to yourself. Give yourself a big, warm hug, and let it go! Shed a tear. That’s ok, too!
- Know this: YOU ARE GOOD. You are also human. Mistakes happen and they can be rectified.
We don’t realize but we hold on to our flaws and mistakes. This hardens our hearts. Research shows that learning to have greater self-compassion can put us in the right physiological, emotional, and mental state to be kind to others.
The first step in self-compassion is to ACTIVATE KINDNESS towards yourself. Forgive yourself, and let go of your flaws & errors, because YOU ARE GOOD, no matter what!
Science of Kindness: The Science, Theory and Practice of Kindness: A Brief Overview.